Our Baby Bot

April 15th, 2010 -Nathan - 6lbs 8 oz

2010-04-20T23:24:00.002-04:00

The second love of my life.

Being Late

2010-04-10T16:19:00.002-04:00

This is Josh: Waking up in a blur. Throwing clothes on and rushing outside. Running to catch the train. Missing it, continuing to run straight for the next 10 minutes. Not in running shoes. Showing up at class five minutes before it ends. Putting my paper on the stack in the front of the room. Sitting down in class, sweating, breathing a sigh of relief. I made it.

Versions of this scenario replayed itself many times throughout college.

Of course, by most people’s standards, I didn’t make it. I was over an hour late. Most people would’ve gotten to class five minutes early, especially on a day when a paper was due. But I, unfortunately, am not most people in this regard. I’ve always been late to things, even when those things are important.

But in the end it always works out.

I was thinking about this as I woke up this morning. Our baby’s due date is today, and he has not yet decided to show up. But, there’s still time.

In fact, he can safely show up anytime in the next two weeks. And, given his procrastinator heritage, I’m guessing he will wait a significant amount of those two weeks before showing up at the last moment.

So I’m not stressing it. I know he’s enjoying his last days in the womb, partying late with the placenta and umbilical cord, waking up in the outfit he wore yesterday.

But I have one message for him: he’s about to enter a new stage of life, and the outside world won’t tolerate such tardiness. He should thank his mother for putting up with him. - Josh

40ish week appointment

2010-04-08T21:05:00.000-04:00

I don’t usually write about my appointments with our two midwives Becky and Emily. Basically because all I do is get on the scale (and grumble), pee in a cup, get my blood pressure taken, hear the baby’s heartbeat, have my tummy measured and chat with the midwife a bit. Even the appointment where we went over the birthplan was ho hum as all of our preferences are pretty much the status quo with their clients. The main benefit is getting to know our providers!

But TODAY was just a little bit different. I’m 40 weeks this weekend. I didn’t expect to be checked. I mean everything I’ve read says that internals are useless. You could walk around at 3cm for 3 weeks, or you can go from zero to baby in a day. However, you really don’t know how you are going to feel about something until you experience it. I needed to get SOME information. Plus it’s all a prequel to the birth story. So when Emily asked if I wanted to be checked I said: YES PLEASE

Some background on birthing a baby: Your cervix must open from 0-10cm (dilation), and thin out (effacement) from 0 percent to 100 percent. Additionally the baby drops from -4 station (high) to +4 station(seeing the head).

So to have a baby you have to be 10 cm dilated, 100 percent effaced. I’m not sure what station is needed to start pushing. Too lazy to google.

Anyhoo!
I am dilated 1cm, 50 percent effaced and at -2 station. I love my little stats! I mean I’m already halfway effaced! I’d like to stitch these stats into a quilt and wrap myself up with them. They are warm and cozy to me. Next Thursday we will see if I have progressed any more.

I have a non-stress test, and an ultrasound to check fluid levels after 41 weeks. 42 weeks is the longest the practice will let me go before I am medically induced.

The Horror!

2010-04-05T18:34:00.002-04:00

Josh said that once I hit full term that it will be like a horror movie. He will never know when he will get “The Call” that I am in labor. That is just so freakin’ sweet. But the fact is that it could happen at any time. Such as right now as you are reading this, is both exciting and extremely draining.

Meanwhile I am dealing with all these “maybe” contractions. Is it gas? Should it feel like cramps? Should it be cramping and tightening? Should I have to “breathe” through them for them to count? I think about timing them, but I feel stupid. I have a feeling josh might get several horrific calls before the real deal.

How far along?

2010-04-03T15:21:00.001-04:00

How far along? 39 weeks

Total weight gain: 35 pounds. Okay fine 37…I just chose to round down there.

Maternity clothes? I can no longer fit into my maternity pants, and 80 percent of my maternity shirts. Which doesn’t matter because they are long sleeved, stained and ratty. Special thanks to Mandy S for the dresses on loan!

Stretch marks? I got some a couple days ago. I discovered them using a hand held mirror cause they are under my belly. I’m okay with them since they are shiny and light. But you know what Bot? If you had came already I wouldn’t have gotten any.

Sleep: Sporadic. Benadryl is my new BFF

Best moment this week: Bot really likes the song Hey Joe by Jimi Hendrix. I put it on to show josh and as soon as it started bot kicked me really hard and shook my whole belly. The song is about a man killing his wife for messin’ round town. I have to ask Bot when he is older whether he thinks she deserved to be shot down or if he was upset at the misogynistic nature of the song.

Movement: I hate how he head butts my bladder while stretching his butt out really hard. There are rolls and ripples. Punches to my cervix. He mainly hangs out on the left hand side. The other side of my uterus must have the tv. Sometimes his hands are tickle me, like he is smoothing back his hair.

Food cravings: Cream of Wheat! Kani sushi (crab stick on rice) with lots of wasabi ginger and soy sauce.

Food aversions: just red sauce. And I can eat it, just don’t want to.

Gender: Boy. I just learned that most babies pee immediately when placed on your chest after birth.

Labor Signs: Two false labors. Both petered out in a couple hours. Both freaked us out on how utterly unprepared we are. But really have kicked us into gear. Bring it on!

Belly Button in or out? It pokes out, but I’m not calling it an outtie cause it is just the edges.

What I miss: Turning over in bed. Putting on pants without sitting. Walking at a decent speed without pain. Being able to sit, get up, or do anything without pain.

What I am looking forward to: Baby bot. I cannot wait to see his little face. CANNOT WAIT! Will he have hair? Will he have josh’s nose? Will he be chubby? I just want to see him blink. How cool would that be?

Weekly Wisdom: After 38 weeks, anything elastic around your waist is the devil’s work.

Milestones: Full term!

To Lily, Maya, Ella, and Luke:

2010-04-01T22:13:00.002-04:00

This is Josh: You have provided the entirety of my experience with little kids. Lily has taught me that life does not end with kids – you can still see a drive-in movie and go on vacation. Maya showed me that life can continue past a baby’s bedtime. Ella has shown me, through several visits over her 3 years, that a few months in baby time mean a whole lot more than a few months in adult time. Luke showed me that moving your body the way you want it to move is an innately exciting activity.

My resume of experience with babies and toddlers is short, and I thank you for the little time we’ve had together. I remember being a teenager, when I had little use for adults. But you’ve reminded me that for the first years of life, adults are all you have, and we’re all the better for it. - Josh

Laundry Situation

2010-03-26T18:29:00.001-04:00

So for years (years!) I’ve always wanted to have a washer/dryer NOT in the basement. Every time we moved (which is often: 3 times in 5 years) I would search for months for a place that would have the following:
-Clean (preferably newer) bathroom/kitchen
-Allows cats
-Washer Dryer NOT in the basement
(not to mention location, rent etc.)

This was near impossible and became a fantasy rental when I added the following two stipulations in our most recent search:
-Allows dogs
-Fenced in backyard.

Well I came as close as I could with our current duplex. Clean bath/kitchen, allows pets, fenced backyard and washer dryer hook-ups (but no washer dryer) in the basement. I really wanted to be able to do laundry but my spider phobia just won’t let me down there. I tried one time but literally a huge spider dropped from the ceiling in front of me. No lie. So, Josh washes the clothes, and until I got pregnant, I cleaned the bathrooms and managed the pets. I think it is a good deal that worked out well.

Well nearly a year later, we still don’t have a w/d. Josh decided that he’d rather drive to the laundry mat and wash 6 loads at a time and be done in 90 minutes twice a month. I have no argument there. But since getting pregnant I have been campaigning for a w/d because everyone gets this incredulous look on their face mixed with pity or horror when I tell them we don’t have one. Oh, and that we must be brain damaged to think we won’t be doing laundry every day with a baby.

It was back in October that I witnessed the destructive nature of babies and clean clothes. My nephew luke in just a few hours, not only pooped out his own clothes, but got poop on his mom’s pants while she was holding him. He then proceeded to spit up milk on me and then his father. That’s half a load of laundry right there!

I begged josh. I sent him w/d ads on sale then used w/d ads from craigslist. There was even a set a man would sell us and then deliver it! I told him horror stories, and tried reasoning with him. I even tried guilting him that all that time at the laundry mat was time away from his son! I tried asking him the tough questions: Are we just going to have poopy sheets sitting in the house for a week?!!

His response is either a version of “I’ll take care of it” or “It’ll be fine”
Because in the end, he does the laundry not me, so he ultimately decides.

Plagued with visions of stained and thus ruined clothes piling up in the hamper all week, I’ve come up with a plan to salvage them. I decided to fandangle a bucket system in the basement. Poopy, spit-up items will be rinsed in the sink and then soaked in a large bucket of water and oxyclean in the basement until laundry day. Josh promises to go once a week to the laundry mat. I suppose his task will also be emptying the bucket of water.

This is the best I can do to make the situation better? A bucket?!

Aches and Pains

2010-03-18T20:50:00.002-04:00

25 days until the due date, and on Sunday I will be full term. I don’t know what to think of this. On the day of the birth, two huge changes are going to happen:
One: I will have a baby and
Two: I won’t be pregnant anymore.
It’s amazing how quickly I’ve gotten used to the status quo.

It officially hurts to walk, I have bad joint pain in my hips and pelvis. I am so very tired at work and my feet/ankles balloon at the end of the day. I am getting by the best I can. It’s just that anything physical is an (often painful) effort. The days I work at 1pm, I go to bed around 11:30 and stay in bed until 11:30. And I could stay there all day. I know this is a finite time in my life, so I’m just taking it day by day. I’m also scared that next week will be much worse. And if I can’t cope now, I’m screwed.

Still, I’m not ready for him to be here yet. I know the names of the streets in the hell that I am in at least.

On the plus side, Bot is doing well. He’s probably pretty cramped himself. He keeps trying to stretch me out. I feel pressure low and his big butt keeps pressing into my lungs. My favorite thing to do is to trace the outline of his feet when they poke out of me. The food that gets him moving is cream of wheat, because I put loads and loads of sugar on it!

And now a message to Bot:
Dear Bot: Sorry about the Wendy’s today. I know there was nothing of nutritional value there. But how delicious was that premium fish fillet with added cheese and no tartar sauce? I smothered it in ketchup. Soooo yummy!

Completed nursery!

2010-03-16T18:26:00.000-04:00

I had a blast doing this nursery. Thank you to my mom, sister and josh for letting me pepper you with emails on opinions. I feel like I got a lot of great deals, and with it being Ikea heavy, you know it was on a budget :)

Enjoy!

Bird Mobile off Etsy.com (there is a bird theme going)

Dresser and curtains from Ikea

Eventually there will be a chair there instead of a stool (maybe).

I impulsively got these alphabet cards off etsy.com because it was such a great deal!! And it took up a lot of wall space not to mention being educational :)

Wall decal of birds and branches off etsy.com (can you tell I am addicted to this site?)

Josh purchased installed these shelves!

Bot's cage...err.. I mean crib.

Close-up of the scary owl faces blanket and sheet I got off of etsy.com. I needed a touch of spooky to make this nursery juuuuust right!

Nursery Progress Pics

2010-03-14T21:49:00.011-04:00

Putting together the crib

Futurama playing in the background (of course!)

Only one missing screw! (barely wobbles)

Upacking the new lamps from Ikea

Painting the nursery "smoke screen" gray blue

Ikea dresser parts (enjoying our affordable Swedish crap)

Those Swedes know how to put in almost everything you need!

Undecorated room, but painted and furnished!

35 weeks

2010-03-07T16:39:00.005-05:00

The front

The flip side

The bump side

Hmm, I guess you can see my belly button from the front. I guess any denial that it has gone from an innie to an outie is over. ..

Awesome

2010-02-25T19:26:00.003-05:00

This is Josh: Stefanie, you are awesome. I could not imagine having a roller coaster going on for 9 months. Thank you for carrying our baby and being there with him at all times. I know your voice and your rubs comfort him when he's wondering why he's still in his oceanic environment. He'll be with us on land soon! - Josh

Hypnobirthing - part 2

2010-02-16T17:25:00.007-05:00

So, 3-4 weeks in, what’s it like so far? First of all it is a freakin’ struggle to stay awake for the 30 minute hypnosis sessions (there are 12). You take some calming deep breaths, you relax your muscles and just when you think you are completely relaxed… “you go deeper…much deeper”(the lady’s soothing words, not mine).

Then the lady tells me that I am so relaxed I can’t move my arm (true!) and then she tells me that my skin feels so good (yup). Then she tells me to come up with a special safe place (For me: I am lying on a hammock on the beach in a orange bikini and I am smokin’ hot too!--- hey it’s my special place, my rules!). In my special place I hold my baby cause we are in this together (check!). Next thing you know she is telling me that she is going to count to five and each number will take me 10 times deeper into relaxation and hypnosis. You feel like you are drifting, floating and your mind is completely empty. And each time she says a number it intensifies like a wave going through you. And I am literally on the beach so RELAXED! And right before she gets to some instructions….I’m out like a light.

Last night I finally got through the “Creating Self-Anesthesia” track. I did really well with the finger drop technique (a cue where you raise your finger and lower it and are instantly relaxed and in your special place) and turning my light switch (that controls my muscles) completely off. Now I am working on centering my light swtich so that I can move/talk/interact while the area between my chest and my thighs (birthing muscles) is still completely relaxed. It is a warm buzzing feeling. Like I can’t describe it.

I had a major setback a few days ago. I woke up screaming due to a calf muscle spasm. Usually it works itself out, but this one was a mutant spasm because as soon as it ended it would spasm harder again and again. I thought for a second “ Oooh I should use hypnobabies!” But all I could think was that word “hypnobabies” and couldn’t think any further. I was completely focused only on the pain that kept coming and coming. So I thrashed in bed, yelled, and had josh rub my leg. After it was over, I thought holy hell I can’t even manage a calf muscle spasm. Granted it was the mother of calf spasms that turned into four in a row. But actually josh said I did a good job. And I asked him embarrassedly “But what about how I thrashed and yelled?… I mean that wasn’t really me in a hammock/ on the beach/orange bikini moment.” He said that’s okay and he’s going to be there with me like he was that morning too. (swoons) And it is true that my labor isn’t going to go from 0 to 60 and wake me up discombobulated in the middle of the night. Anyway, to be fair, I am only practicing anesthesia in my torso not my left leg.

Still.

We will see how this goes.

Hypnobirthing

2010-02-15T17:22:00.002-05:00

I’ve been getting harassed by josh to post another entry. So let’s talk hypnosis. It is really hilarious to me that so many things I am doing in preparation for this birth is just so off the wall. And I know it too. And I already know you know it. But stay with me here.

I decided to go with hypnobirthing as my pain management technique. Lamaze and the Bradley method are so yesterday.com! Even though hypnobirthing isn’t new, it has recently been updated so you can be hypnotized with your eyes open and talk and move. They call it “eyes open” hypnosis. Pretty fancy hey?

When you think hypnosis, you think parlor tricks. But really it is more a form of meditation and the power of the mind. It’s very peaceful and actually pretty awesome.

I decided to go with the Hypnobabies brand. A 5 week home study course, with 8 CDs (purchased from ebay!). And it accomplishes and addresses three major areas:
1. Childbirth is natural and normal, and people who have a positive expectations of childbirth can deliver without pain and fear. The first step is internalizing this through positive affirmations. For example: “labor” is now referred to my birthing time! That “contraction” is just a pressure wave!

2. Freedom from fear can make a significant difference. Fear in labor can create tension, which creates pain, then more fear, and the cycle continues. I will use self-hypnosis to clear that fear.

3. People have been using self-hypnosis as a method of natural anesthesia for years. It has even been an effective anesthesia in surgeries.

And you can read more about it here: http://www.hypnobabies.com/mylink.php?id=4570

Being a Kid

2010-02-11T20:22:00.000-05:00

This is Josh: As snow falls in Columbus, and much more falls elsewhere, I’m delighted that schools are closed. A snow day for a kid is just about the best thing in the world. It’s not like Christmas, where you look forward to it forever. A snow day is somewhat random, and just unleashes freedom like no other event. Not to mention the snow – snowmen, snowball fights, sledding – these are things that are only possible when the weather randomly makes them possible. And it’s that much greater when you can play in the snow all day on a Tuesday rather than on a Saturday.

It got me thinking about what it’ll be like for our son growing up. Stef and I grew up in the eighties, and we experienced being teenagers in the nineties. I remember a typewriter in the house. Sometime in high school we got the internet. It required that you get a magazine because it literally took ten minutes to load every page. It was revolutionary when I got to college and websites popped up right as you clicked.

All of this is the same as saying “Back in my day, blah blah blah”. I can’t recall this to my kid without sounding old and boring.

These days, kids grow up with keyboards and texting and the internet and it’s changed the way they interact with the world. I imagine it must also change their perspectives on life. This isn’t to say it’s a bad thing. In fact, I think the world is constantly improving, progress is being made, and these technological changes make life better.

From a parenting standpoint, though, I think it might create new challenges. I imagine we have to be a little more proactive about what our 9-year-old is doing for an hour on the internet than we’d have to be if he was watching TV for an hour. So maybe parenting is harder today than it was back in the day? (That question totally acknowledges that I have no idea what it’s like to be a parent, today or back in the day).

On the other hand, it seems that snow days now are the same as snow days in the eighties. So maybe some things don’t change too much. - Josh

Why I Write

2010-02-10T21:58:00.003-05:00

This is Josh: Often I write something about my experience as a soon-to-be-dad, and I soon realize that my thoughts are generic. I do not provide great insight into the human condition, or enlighten the world with ideas unlike any other.

I do not think this is a problem.

Over the weekend Stefanie and I discovered some old photos of us from college. The photos are now several years old, and they create a special feeling when viewed years later. At the time they were just photos, the kind you push yourself to take because you know it’s worth it, even though it’s always sort of a hassle to take the photo right then. Only after sitting dormant for some time do they begin to take on an exceptional quality. And these aren’t the graduation-type photos, where everyone’s posing. The best ones are the ones where someone just grabs the camera in the middle of a party, or while someone’s reading a book, and captures the random moment.

In the same way, I hope the writings here will prove to be interesting over time. Ten or thirty years from now, I can imagine getting great joy from the thoughts in this blog. They would be interesting to an alien who came down and wanted to read what an average American in 2010 has to say about having a child. It seems like there’s value in recording them, and I look forward to revisiting these posts when my child is in high school, and beyond. - Josh

31 weeks belly shots

2010-02-08T19:06:00.004-05:00

Okay so I haven't done this in a while. I think compared to the 26 week one he might have gotten a little lower.
I'm smiling, but I'm really very tired and my neck hurts from a long day at work. I took about 15 pictures and this is the one where my face looks the least fat.

I'm giving the bare belly because Mom requested it. Other decent folks can shield their eyes! You can't see it, but my innie is very close to being an outie!

Another look at the goods

2010-02-01T17:51:00.007-05:00

So we went in for our 3D/4D ultrasound on Saturday. We aren’t the type with a lot of disposable income, so I’d never consider this little luxury except for that damn 25 percent chance that bot was a girl according to the random doctor who did our anatomy scan. Also I would like to say this is partly our insurance's fault for only covering two ultrasounds in the first place.

Anyway, it was really weird getting on an examining table without someone first taking my weight and blood pressure… but it was actually a very nice environment. They even had a huge movie screen in which the ultrasound was projected. We got a 20 minute DVD of all his little motions and 20 pictures.

Bot was halfway cooperative, he showed us the nuts and bolts. And what a boy indeed! (that one was for you Lindsey :0)) Having said that he was in a breech position with the cord covering up his mouth, and finally getting that sorta out of the way he put his foot over half of his face. It’s not like he doesn’t look like a 3D claymation mud baby regardless of these obstructions… The best part was nice seeing him in motion. He kicked and swallowed stretched his neck.

The biggest relief was that yes, he did have face, all four limbs and apparently at least four toes from what I could see. Josh would like to point out that bot indeed has a set of genitals. He also likes to smoosh his face up against my placenta, which apparently is the womb’s pillow, in order to provide lame pictures.

Here is the "best" one!
His foot is on his left eye, but you have a good profile shot of his little eye, nose and lips.

Enjoying the time

2010-01-19T19:01:00.005-05:00

This is Josh: I know I’m not the one who’s body is morphing inside and out, so this may not come as a shock - I am enjoying this time before our child is born. I remember the early days of Stefanie’s pregnancy, where everything was starting from square one and we had a long road ahead of us. There was a lot going on. Now we are entering the third trimester. While I think Stef is experiencing a form of senioritis and can’t believe there’s still months to go before birth, I feel like I’ve hit a peaceful calm before the storm.

This is not to say that I wouldn’t love to have our son magically and healthily appear now, just as if tomorrow were the 40 week mark, because I would. The longer until birth, the longer I have to worry about the baby’s health, even though every checkup gets a thumbs up. (I am told these worries about our child will continue after he is born, on up through high school, but I’ll worry about that later).

This is also not to say that Stefanie is absolutely miserable, because we’re both having a good time hanging out just the two of us. I just think that she would prefer it if she could breathe and walk like normal. If I had to go through that, I wouldn't be too happy, so she's doing a million times better than I would at this pregnancy thing.

In the eternal battle of work versus life, work loses right now. I have actively taken on less work recently, knowing that working endlessly will not be remembered over time, but the final days with my wife before our son is born will be. (I won’t slack off (much), but I also won’t be working every weekend like I was in November and December.) These last days are precious, and while I am not rushing off for a final road trip to discover America or vying to ski across the Alps, I am sharing hot chocolate with Stefanie in our living room. And it's just been really nice. - Josh

Third Trimester starts.....NOW

2010-01-18T14:21:00.004-05:00

I’m in the third trimester! Well according to some books, that milestone was two weeks ago, but some tell me I’m just starting it today.

Ever since I got pregnant, people have been telling me that the 2nd trimester is the best. I was juuuuust getting used to it, and I feel like someone dropped me off at third trimester’s doorstep and drove away without a note. I’ve expected some doom and gloom music this morning, but I feel fine. I get dizzy spells and pressure on my chest (it feels like my fat cat Leela is laying on me). I also find that turning over in bed is a three step process. Going up the stairs has an intermission where I reflect on life and catch my breath halfway. I can’t pick up anything off the floor lower than a shoe without grunting. I’m clumsy so I end up grunting a LOT at work. When I drop a book, I sort of stare at it for a while in awe of how far away it is. Sidenote: even not pregnant I could never touch my toes. I was like 6 inches away. So it’s almost like I have to compress my tummy to bend over, and it just doesn’t work. Someone told me to bend my knees. I mean really! Thank you Mr. Obvious! That stomach is just in my way.
A woman I was helping at work took one look at my belly and said “you’re due any day now, huh?” I was like, actually more like 2 months! So assume I will become hilarious looking.

Bot is doing fine. Well, he gave us a scare on Saturday when he didn’t move all day or all that evening. I had gotten so used to him giving me his good night kicks in bed, I felt weird going to bed without them. So I ate three oranges and a bowl of chocolate iced cream. I did feel one small kick, but it was so light, I was worried he was sick. On top of that, my bump seemed to have . But he’s moving up a storm right now a few days later as I type. I’m still drinking water like it’s my job. On Thursday rushing around and setting up for a program I had so many Braxton hicks contractions, I thought something was terribly wrong. I am trying some deep breathing techniques. I find I need to rest and drink 16 ounces of water before walking to my car at the end of the day. As you can tell exercising is out of the question. I have to walk slow to avoid my uterus turning into a hard ball o’ cramp. I know according to my midwife it is too early to have them this frequent. But I am still taking them in stride as best I can. What else can I do? Lots of water and moving sloooooooow helps.

And now a message to bot:
Dear bot, you scared the shit out of me on Saturday! My mind went through a thousand scenarios, and I know now that this is just the beginning of worry worry worry. So far a lot of my thoughts of you are wondering what position you are inside me. As you know my placenta is right in front, so it took me a while to feel you moving. I wish I didn’t have that extra layer between us (stupid placenta.. move already!) I’ve heard that I can see a foot, or feel the difference between an elbow and a knee. I do think that the other day I felt your head sitting right under my chest. It could have been your butt. Either way I patted it and laughed which I always do when I feel you moving. I hope you stay in there as long as possible and get healthy and strong. I hope you can feel how big my heart has swelled in love for you. I’m ready for the third round in trimesters!

The results are in!

2010-01-06T20:14:00.003-05:00

I don’t have gestational diaBEETus. I really do know it is spelled diabetes… but that oatmeal guy pronounces it like that, and it is too damn funny. Here is a picture of that guy if he was a Persian cat.

I am still anemic despite the dangerous amount of iron I’m taking. According to the box the iron pills came in, I should have called the poison control a long time ago. I’m taking 3 times the recommended amount. But my iron levels remain unchanged. Diagnosis from the nurse? Why more iron pills of course. Duh!

Anyway, besides that little set back, I still feel great. Well besides the crippling exhaustion. I have to take a break halfway up the stairs. And I go up the stairs a lot to pee.

The contractions are getting better. Perhaps it was a stressful week after all. They say to drink 64oz to 100oz of water a day, and I have been drinking at least a gallon 128oz or more. I’m a thirsty woman. I drink 45 of those ounces throughout the night when I’m supposed to be asleep. (Have I mentioned on this blog about my insomnia currently untreated by se-da-tives?) I still get contractions when I walk up the stairs or stand up, but I guess I’ve tuned them out.

We made a delicious crock pot meal! All we did was throw a roasting chicken in there. I slathered it with butter, rosemary, spices, and stuffed it with some garlic cloves. We put in on low for 9 hours and went to work. We came home to the best smelling house. Poor Charlie must have suffered so. And it fell off the bone and was so tender and juicy! Especially the parts that were soaked in the chicken oil and butter. It really felt like someone cooked for us! I whipped up some couscous and string beans as a side, and we had a little feast. WTF did we do all these years without one? Thanks mom! Hope you are enjoying yours Janeen, share those recipes!

And now for a message to baby:
Dear bot: I found out your little secret. When I drink cold water it makes you kick me. Did you know you have motivated me to drink so much water it’s not even funny? Our relationship is already symbiotic. I love that about you.

Progress

2010-01-04T21:34:00.002-05:00

This is Josh: I put together the crib. Now there’s an actual spot for the baby. Before we just had a snazzy outfit, but he had nowhere to sleep. Problem solved.

Sure, there’s a car seat to get, and I’m sure there’s about 50 things that we’ll need that I’ve never heard of before, but things are getting done. We cleaned our bedroom over the weekend, so now it looks like a respectable place to raise a baby rather than the one room that obtains all the junk we remove from the other rooms in the final hours before we have guests.

Another bonus - Stefanie learned a new meal last night and cooked it to perfection, so now we have one more trick up our sleeve when we’re at the grocery store and have no idea what we’re going to eat in the upcoming week.

At the same time we’re upping our level of adult-like accomplishments, Stefanie’s belly is getting big and beautiful. It’s pretty wild. I’m intrigued of what it’s like, but Stefanie assures me that the movie Junior was terrible, so it shows it wasn’t meant to be.

2010. As futuristic as it’s ever gotten up until now. 4/10/2010. Sounds like a cool date to open a blockbuster movie on. That’s the date that’s in our minds for now, because it’s the coolest one around the official due date. But a mother of two cautioned us over the weekend that if we’re due in April, it very likely could be March. A simple concept, one that we’ve heard before, but it took on a new meaning in the first week of January 2010 than it did way back in crusty old 2009. - Josh

26 Weeks

2010-01-02T21:11:00.005-05:00

Big milestones! Last week, bot became viable. This means that if he were born today he'd have an 85 percent chance of survival. Not only that, but this week his eyes have started to open. I am so excited to know that no matter what, I will get a chance to meet him, and he will be able to see me too!

Every week that passes is just another week to fatten him up and let his beautiful brain develop enough to take the wheel on life. AND!!!! We are in the double digits! 99 days until he’s an air breather!

I absolutely cannot wait for him to be here. Oh, and we'd love it bot if you came on April 10th. That would flow so nicely: 4/10/2010!

Bot's parents

I can't believe it is 2010! It sounds so futuristic. We'd assumed when we got pregnant, our baby would be futuristic, and therefore a robot. This is why he is our baby bot. I also suspect that he will be coming out the womb in a flying car or wearing a jet pack or something like that.

How far along?

2009-12-28T15:38:00.012-05:00

How far along? 25 Weeks

Total weight gain: Fat. Is that the answer you were looking for all these weeks Mr. Survey?! But in all seriousness I only weigh myself at my doctor, and I think I’m up past 15 pounds at least. Tis a double shitty thing to be in the 2nd trimester AND subjected to holiday food and treats!

Maternity clothes? All maternity. In fact two shirts that I got in “small” maternity are a bit too short.

Stretch marks? None yet.

Sleep: Not too good. I wake up from 3am to 5am. I wake up because I am on my back and it hurts. I also wake up really thirsty all the time.

Best moment this week: How about laughing until I started choking because a skier took a tumble trying out for the Olympics? Then coughing and laughing so hard that I peed myself a little. Okay… fine I plain out pissed my pants. Luckily I was at home and already on the ground rolling around with laughter. Kegels here we come …

Movement: About three weeks ago I started seeing movement from the outside. Like something poked out and the force shook my tummy. I find this being my favorite thing to observe.

Food cravings: Okay, two weeks ago it was salami. And now I am all about the steak. Thank goodness for Applebee’s 8.99 7oz sirloin. I also ask for it cooked medium. I can’t believe it, but the pink juices makes my mouth water. Ideally I would just eat it with my hands and bite off huge chunks the way a polar bear might do it. Josh insists on me cutting it into sensible bites. Must be the iron deficiency.

Food aversions: Still pizza sauce, or any red sauce. And salmon.

Gender: It’s a boy. Oh, how I love him already.

Labor Signs: Some mild contractions (Braxton Hicks). I think I have an Irritable Uterus.. That’s Dr. Google for you. But it seriously describes me to a T.

Belly Button in or out? It is half way there. Like right on the cusp of poking out.

What I miss: Sedatives sedatives SEDATIVES!!!!! Just kidding (well a little). I do miss not looking roly poly. I feel like the last month I have packed it in. Where’s my cute little bump? Why are my cheeks so chipmunk-y? I’m starting to look seriously pregnant.

What I am looking forward to: The third trimester in just two weeks!! Also, putting together the crib, birthing classes in February,

Weekly Wisdom: If you gotta go, GO! Otherwise you will be sorry. Oh yes, you will indeed be sorry.

Milestones: Buying the crib, narrowing down the name,

Merry Christmas (24 weeks!)

2009-12-22T16:00:00.011-05:00

Merry Christmas! Here I am with our tree at 24 weeks! So many things have happened.
#1 After two years of pining, researching and saving we got our dream tv! In fact, we took so long that new technology came out (LEDs, oh boy). But prices also lowered (yay!). We couldn’t decide between a 42 inch and a 46 inch so we made newspaper mock ups and hemmed and hawed some more. Here’s josh modeling our newspaper tv as I check out the view(s) from the couch.

Josh with our mock-up

We love LOVE going to the movies. It’s really our thing. Josh is the best movie buddy ever. One year we went 20 times! Still... basically that left no fun money for anything else. So a lot of what we own is second hand, furniture, decor, clothes… which is completely worth it to support our movie habit. I suppose seeing a movie on DVD once the baby comes is like going second hand so I guess I’ll get used to it (sob!). I’m going to assume our movie money will just go to diapers now anyway.

Well, with baby bot our traditional dinner and movie date nights are going to take a serious hit. So we got a 42 inch, 120 Hz, LCD 1080p LG with Netflix streaming video. I could kiss it. I actually did kiss it, and I hugged it. It is possible that bot kicked it (I was pressed against it for a while)

#2, (this one is baby related news)
We got the crib! It was in stock, had great reviews in Baby Bargains and we were able to knock 130 dollars off the price between the Christmas sales and a "50 dollar off a 250 dollar purchase or more" coupon. I didn’t even care at that point that they didn’t make a matching dresser that could double as a changing table. If bot’s parents can have second hand mix matched dressers so can he! We ended up going with a traditional crib. The latest trend is to get a crib that is made up of the headboard and footboard of a full size bed. So the top part is higher (the headboard). We were leaning towards this crib at first:

NOT THE CRIB

Well, Josh didn’t want his 5 year old in a full size bed, and I didn’t want a constant reminder of the conversion rails (to make it into a full size bed)we wouldn’t buy (for some reason all I could see was the headboard). So, we went with a one that just converts to a toddler bed. I also like that the two solid side panels helped eliminate that “cagey” feeling with all the rails.. I love it!!! I searched the web for people who have my crib in a decorated nursery so you could get the idea.

I like this first pic because it also has a dresser that doesn’t match and I like it too!

THE CRIB!!!

Okay, so I made the crib shopping seem pretty easy, but in reality…
I spent two weeks researching cribs and then 7 hours shopping for a crib (literally from 1pm to 8pm). We went to Buy Buy Baby then Babies R Us then Buy Buy Baby again (keep in mind these stores are 20 minutes away from each other), then home to do some internet research to see finished nurseries with my crib (well, josh took a nap). In those seven hours I was calling my sister (2 phone calls total) and my mom (5 phone calls total) to look up the cribs online we were deciding between. I proceeded to drive them and josh absolutely f*cking nutz before driving back out to Babies R Us to make the purchase. I had like ten panic attacks just taking it to the register. I mean this was the start of THE nursery! If I didn’t get this key piece right, I was screwed. It was redunk. But in the end, I’m so glad we picked it!

Sad and stressed. Poor bot!

2009-12-21T11:33:00.004-05:00

Sorry I haven’t posted in a while. This has been a horrendous week. Very stressful and very sad. The Friday before last, Nemo became very sick. We made the decision to put him down rather than have him suffer again when his illness flared up. It was very sudden. Leela has been meowing her sad meow and running from room to room. I’ve keep thinking I see him in the corner of my eye. I’m getting better. I know the reason it hurts so much is because Nemo is getting comfortable in his new home, which is in my heart. We are still going to hang up his stocking this year.

Nemo 2003-2009

Last Monday Charlie got out and was gone for 5 hours. I thought he was stolen/dead/lost forever. Feeling that way for hours put such a strain on me, I literally forgot a coworker’s name when I got back to work. I have never cried so much and so hard between Nemo and Charlie.

It all came to a head on Thursday 12/17 at 23.5 days pregnant I began having contractions. When it is not true labor they call them Braxton Hicks. If you get more than 5/6 an hour you are supposed to go to the hospital, because it starts to get dodgey on rather or not it is faux labor. Well I definitely exceeded that. On top of it I was dizzy, vomited and felt extreme fatigue. I had been eating and drinking well, so that wasn’t it. So, I called my midwife, and she told me to check myself into the labor and delivery ward. There I was hooked up to monitors to track the contractions for about 90 minutes. It turns out that I am having mild contractions but my cervix is a mile long still (their words not mine) so luckily the contractions are NOT telling my body to start having a baby. They are uncomfortable and scary. I’m trying to relax. Usually walking upstairs or picking something up sets one off. The doctor told me that if they start getting more frequent come back for another cervix check (lovely). If it starts to shorten, I fear being put on bedrest this early.
Side note: Josh sitting beside me while the nurse shoved her fingers up my vag to check my cervix made him firmly decide that his place will be at my head while giving birth. Not to mention I got reacquainted with the dildo cam.

Extra sidenote: Bot was kicking so much! We could hear him on the monitors even when I couldn’t feel him. Everyone who came in agreed that he was a very active baby and was going to be trouble when he was born.

Nursery Ideas

2009-12-09T20:33:00.007-05:00

I’m feeling in a nursery mood! Keep in mind that I am not looking at prices or reviews or the like. Just exploring the world of baby stuff, and I am getting pretty psyched about decorating this here nursery.

First of all I must have a tree on the wall. I’m thinking I will get a tree decal, paint over it and have it be a white silhouette. But I am not sure how crafty I will get! We will have to paint the whole thing white again when we move, but that’s fine. Here are my inspirations:

I’m also feeling a gray blue wall. I would love to have green, but we all remember the disaster of finding a “sage” green for the living room. 6 paint samples later and they all look like either toothpaste or grass or puke. I finally went with “Almond Paste” also known as off-white. I don’t think you can mess up gray/blue.

So then I thought: what about a forest theme.? Please note, that is NOT jungle, NOR farm/zoo animals. These are forest animals that have no discernable sounds. Cows moo, lions roar, monkey’s chitter. But what about a deer? A raccoon or a squirrel? I feel like the room is peaceful already. And the nature vibe totally won josh over. Ideally I would get a transportation theme. But Josh thinks that gasoline is the drink of the devil and cars are Hitlermobiles or something.

Last night I stumbled across a couple of beddings that I like:

Counting the ways

2009-12-09T19:56:00.001-05:00

As you all know I had a difficult first trimester. I wrote an email to josh counting the ways that I appreciated him when I was in the heart of darkenss (aka the toilet bowl). This list was made when I was about 8 weeks pregnant. I didn't edit this. I know for a fact that this isn’t really the half of it:

got me flowers every other week
went to buy pregnancy books with me twice
read up on that how to make a pregnant woman happy
went grocery shopping and got me fresh fruit
ordered ginger drops online
got me wristbands, ginger gum
got the car serviced, made a new fit key
did research and booked the vacation
doing pretty much all of the house chores (dishes, laundry, charlie, bathroom)
getting me water, my purse, and other things I leave downstairs
getting me pretzels and saltines
cleaning up for company coming over
doing the video blog
letting me decide where/what we are going to eat
working hard on perfecting the smoothies and washing that damn blender by hand
giving me a hug when i get home
lots of stuff!

My belleh!

2009-12-02T21:51:00.014-05:00

We had a photo shoot today. And I have zero idea why we hadn't included Charlie until now. He's so cute! I also think I popped. Here is me at 19weeks. Notice I am wearing a combination of maternity pants and non-maternity shirt.

Here I am at 21.5 weeks. It might not seem like a big change, but the belly to boob ratio is expanded. Right at 20 weeks I started getting the strangers noticing. One woman I was helping at work cut me off mid sentence and pointed at my belly and said: "Oooh, look at that!"

And now for some Charlie interactions. Here he is wondering how I could do this to him.

Lastly I put bare belly photo on the right bar. I will continue to do this until I feel/look disgusting and/or the orange pants don't fit.

Some of the highlights of the last week

2009-12-01T22:16:00.003-05:00

Forewarning this blog post is all over the place:
I‘ve been getting kicked a bit more. But only on my left side. One night, we couldn’t sleep, I got like 5 kicks. Big booming ones.
Baby loves chocolate milk. I had a big jug of it, and I finally felt those low flutters I had been hearing about on Friday Nov27th. In fact, it kept me quite entertained, and I zoned completely out of the conversation I was in. Apologies to the Miller Family.
Baby had the hiccups I think on Nov 30th. It made me giggle.
OOOh update! I got kicked in my lower belly while typing. It makes me laugh, it’s like I heard a hilarious joke. It just warms my heart!
I googled what a 22 week old fetus looks like, because for some reason, when I think of baby bot, I just see him in ultrasound form.

A concern:
I have no idea what I’m going to name this baby. I had like ten girl names that I LOVED and could pull from. I got no short list with boys. Nada. And worse, when I think of one, josh always always says either, “nah”, or shrugs. I don’t want trendy, (Cayden, Hayden, Jayden) but I am also bored with traditional (Michael, Ethan, Christopher). Josh says we have plenty of time, but I want it to marinate for a while before the birth. I have a feeling it’s going to be something ridiculous or stupendous. So get ready for it. (PS, we are keeping the name a secret when we do pick it. I’ll take suggestions but you will have to wait until the day he is born for bragging rights on picking the name.

My small pet peeve:
People who say “Just you wait” I can’t even freakin’ yawn, without someone saying, “Think you’re tired now? Just you wait!” I excuse myself to the bathroom and I get “Oh you will be doing that a lot more, just you wait.” If some kid cries in the next room? Oh that’s a big “just you wait”
Can I please just enjoy the moment?
This is almost as bad as people who say “Enjoy (fill in the blank activity) now, cause that’s all OVER when the baby comes.” Buzzkill. Plus, I think after ten years of it just being me and Josh we can hardly complain that we didn’t have a blast just the two of us before becoming parents.

Besides those little things, truly, everyone has been really great. I do enjoy pretty much everything else about being pregnant. I don’t care if people touch my stomach or anything like that. In fact, I might be the only pregnant lady who loves it. I guess I am touchy feely. Or maybe because I secretly longed to touch pregnant bellies while trying to make this baby.

Top five things I love about being pregnant right now:
1. I don’t have to suck in my gut. I just let it all. hang. out.
2. Laughing fits. It doesn’t take much to set me off. The most recent incident was a college kid having trouble scanning his hotdog buns at the self checkout machine. He was so hilariously disoriented and confused when his checkout light started blinking, the computer voice started yelling at him and like two employees rushed at him like he was trying to stuff hotdog buns down his pants. I had tears in my eyes.
3. Watching my belly grow. Strangers are making comments now!
4. Josh utterly spoiling me rotten.
5. The anticipation, surprise, and wonder of little bot doing his calisthenics.

Biggest adjustments
1. Not dieting. I have to remember it is okay to have juice, or a second helping. I try hard to get all my calories in, but cutting them is a hard habit to break. Josh is constantly reminding me to EAT. I will just have to watch helplessly as my ass expands.
2. Trapped gas and round ligament pain. I thought I was headed to the ER, but I just needed to toot. And how cute that josh clapped his hands for me when it did.
3. I can’t sit on my butt for more than an hour without it hurting. Movies suck and so do roadtrips, youch.
4. The awful guilt I feel when I eat junk food.
None of this compares to the horror of my nausea and vomiting first trimester. So when people ask me how I am feeling, I smile big and honestly say “I feel GREAT!”

Nobody is going to believe this

2009-11-24T17:44:00.001-05:00

Nobody is going to believe this.

That’s what I was thinking when it happened.

First let’s take care of old business before we move on to new business. The final cylon was revealed on Battlestar Galactic. Also an unprecedented occurrence happened: Two cylons did the horizontal mambo and totally made a baby! With the destruction of the resurrection ship (which had previously granted immortality to cylons), being able to reproduce the old fashioned way is a big deal for the future of the cylon race!!

Trust me, this useless fact will play into the new business soon. So for all of you who skimmed the last paragraph (mom), you might want to read it!

SO! On to new business! Me and Josh are watching our umpteenth episode of Battlestar on Saturday night. A real marathon that only other fraking nerds would appreciate (frak is the f-word in the future!). During the show, I feel some gas bubbles in my tummy. I figure even if it isn’t the baby, maybe josh should put his hand on my tummy to see if he can feel something too. Not three minutes later it happens!

The baby kicks for the first time, and josh felt the first kick for himself with me! Unbelievable!! It felt like a boop! It felt like a bop! Basically, it felt like a tiny foot kicked me. I had always expected that I would have to dim the lights, sit still and turn off all noise and really focus to feel something. But this was like Pow! -right in the kisser! The best part about it? There was no mistaking it! Finally!

I turned to josh and said “Did you feel that!?” And he said “yeah, it got me right here (points to area right below his ring finger)”. Of course I ruined the moment by making josh do a play by play of what exactly happened, the pressure of the kick and his initial reaction like 5 times. I had him poke me in the arm to demonstrate the strength of the baby. I also corrected him when he pointed to a different area of his hand that was kicked. On and on I went.

I have not felt a kick since. But I am starting to think these rolling movements are the baby. Like a tongue moving on the inside of your cheek. Granted I’m really gassy. So that’s still up in the air.

So, ready for crazy coincidence number 2? Remember that knocked up cylon? Well not 10 minutes later they have their own tender scene where daddy cylon feels the baby kick! Both cylons burst into tears of joy. I gave josh the side eye wondering what happened to the waterworks on our end(!!). Long story short, the cylon baby fetus and his tear jerking kicking scene upstaged us. Big time.

Halftime Update

2009-11-21T20:09:00.004-05:00

This is Josh: The ultrasound showed boy, which is supercool, but the really good thing is that everything checked out fine. All the measurements and whatnot. So now we’re at the halfway point, everything has gone great, Stef’s belly keeps growing, and it’s awesome that I’m witnessing a once/twice/thrice in a lifetime event.

During all of this, there’s a feeling of time passing slowly, yet forcefully. It feels like a long time since Stef got pregnant (and I know that means nothing coming from me because she’s the one going through it all). But April is coming quick, we’re already at the holidays with the new year around the corner. I feel like we should do something to make the most of our last days before parenthood, but I don’t know what.

At the same time, there’s something about having our kid growing inside Stefanie’s body that makes the passing of time very cool, and I want time to continue moving. Each week brings a new adventure. Once time drums forward to April, the future of life will arrive.

(And then that future of life has 20 years before they’re outta here! Hey, maybe that’ll be his name: Future. I gotta run that one by Stef.) - Josh

How far along?

2009-11-21T12:32:00.001-05:00

How far along? 20 weeks
Total weight gain: 6 pounds. They say you should gain 25-35 pounds, so I can’t wait to start eating my way to that! Oh boy!
Maternity clothes? There are a couple shirts I can still wear, but the maternity pants are a must!
Stretch marks? None.
Sleep: I hate sleeping on my side. The body pillow helps nothing.
Best moment this week: Having the ultrasound. I can’t believe there is a baby in there. He was moving so much.
Movement: I don’t think so. Nothing that shouts baby. Instead it could be gas, round ligament pain, or even just my uterus growing. Sometimes I think something rolled over, but the feeling lingers way too long.
Food cravings: Buffalo chicken dip (shredded chicken breast, cream cheese, frank’s hot sauce, blue cheese) heated up until it is melty and spread on toasted French bread. YUM!
Food aversions: Pizza sauce- still and salmon
Gender: It’s a boy! 75 percent for sure!
Labor Signs: Negative
Belly Button in or out? In, but starting to stretch a bit
What I miss: Sedatives and sleeping on my back
What I am looking forward to: The holidays with my family! Thanksgiving with the in-laws and Christmas with my immediate family. So excited!
Weekly Wisdom: I am not deformed. I am pregnant.
Milestones: Healthy baby at the midway ultrasound.

First Outfit/First Gift!

2009-11-14T10:48:00.005-05:00

First outfit!
So yesterday I went to Target to see if I could find an outfit that would inspire me. I hadn’t bought any baby items yet, and I was determined to make this whole baby thing more “real”. It was actually harder than I thought! First of all Target’s newborn boy section was sprinkled throughout only one and half racks. Secondly, there were a lot of too warm wintery type things, Christmas type things, and a lot of sports themes that didn’t have single baseball on it (my compromise to josh). I immediately nixed the outfit that proclaimed “Here Comes Trouble”. I also gave the side eye to the one that declared “I Like Mud!” I refuse to raise a messy delinquent!!!
So basically I ended up getting a very gender neutral, arguably boring sleeper. I think the stars say, “I’d like to be an astronaut, mom!” or possibly inspire him to be a star on Broadway.

But, when I got home this little outfit completely transformed. It was like the baby was partly home. I can’t stop stroking the little tummy and fussing with the buttons. I didn’t even take it up to the baby’s room. We have it laying on the couch, and I periodically pick it up to fiddle with, lay on my tummy, or just hold up in front of me and sigh.

First gift!
A huge thanks to Adam and Keri for sending us a baby gift! I feel like there is something in there for the whole family. I’m sure josh will benefit from the stretch mark cream. Although if they are coming, they are coming! And josh: We are already married, so tough cookies if your woman goes all crazy body with the map lines post-baby. Nobody said motherhood was pretty! :)

side shot

2009-11-14T10:39:00.000-05:00

I've had a few requests (Mom! Janeen!) for a side shot of the old belleh. Here is me at 18weeks exactly.

Where am I?

2009-11-13T15:09:00.002-05:00

I'm trapped in hormonal HELL that's where I am. Abandon all hope, ye who cross my path. I'm not saying I agree with what Christian Bale did...

…..but... I did indeed feel like channeling him on several recent occasions. And worse, I had a very clear image of me being arrested at the following locations:

My favorite Italian café. The cheese was still cold on my mozzarella, prosciutto and tomato panini. I told those bastards I wanted it warm damn it!!! Stop rushing the sandwich out of the grill just because you get a line of customers in!

The post office today: That surly jerkface postal worker made it seem like I was a problem customer. Why didn’t he want to help me deduce where a missing package was? I know it wasn’t his fault, I just wanted some freakin’ insight. Did he realize how close I was to Hulk smashing the place? HULK SMASH!!!!

My stupid neighbors: We share a WALL. Please stop playing your athletic version of beer pong at 1:00am on a Thursday night. You sound like a bunch of drunken elephants. I was this close to going over there in my pajamas and flipping over that freakin’ ping pong ball table. And then I was going to set fire to their porch because those beer cans have been out there since this SUMMER. Where are you going to drink now, huh? Huh!? Your porch is torched! HAHAHA!
Patience Stefanie. You will get your sweet revenge when bot is screaming all night long. I shall hold him up to the wall.

It's a BOY!

2009-11-12T16:02:00.001-05:00

It’s a boy! Baby bot is a regular robot and not a fem-bot. My favorite part of the ultrasound was when bot was lying face up and you could see his profile. All of a sudden I blinked and he had turned his back. I was like, wow, they can do that? He had legs and arms flying everywhere because I drank a gallon of OJ which was supposed to get him moving.
The doctor said he is 75 percent sure it is a boy. I guess his boy bit could be the cord, or a hand or whatever. I really don’t want a lot of boy type things, more neutral… so either way, ya know? I am excited that josh has someone to do sports and outdoor activities with while mommy nurses her martini. Haha, just kidding.
Hmm, I feel like this whole blog has been about the anticipation of having a boy or a girl. I think it just hit me that I am not just having a baby but a SON! I want him to be really into dinosaurs and sci-fi. And of course we will love to read. We will read the same books…. Together! Here is a picture of him right now. Well, you have to hold a ultrasound machine up to the computer screen. But he’s in there!

Finding Out

2009-11-11T20:48:00.002-05:00

This is Josh: Tomorrow we’re supposed to find out the gender of the baby! I look forward to being able to cut the naming possibilities down by half. It feels pretty unreal right now. I'm sure that will change tomorrow! - Josh

What a wonderful week!

2009-11-10T21:10:00.009-05:00

This week just doesn’t get any better. So many awesome things to look forward to! Well, first of all: the sex of baby bot! Note: I refuse to get more excited about this just because I have not a single nerve left. So I have a few fantastic distractions ahead.

I am super psyched out of my mind because me and Josh are watching the final season of Battlestar Galactica, scheduled to arrive in the mail via Netflix on Thursday. So not only will the sex of baby bot be revealed that day, but also the FINAL CYLON WILL BE UNCOVERED!!! Who will it be? They say it is a well known character. For those of you not hip to the show, basically a cyclon is a robot who looks human. But they have feeeeeeelings! However, they are our sworn enemy! Yet… they are hidden among us, and even THEY don’t know that they are cylons. Why, it could be your best friend or your baby’s daddy. Instant drama! Anyhoo, I bet it is one of these people in this photo! (no spoilers…please)

Thirdly, on Friday the movie 2012 is coming out. It will probably will be poorly acted and directed, but if the special effects promise to be AT LEAST as entertaining as The Day After Tomorrow, then I will munch my popcorn in glee. I shall ooooh and ahhh the giant tidal waves and sinkholes. The colors children, the colors! I can’t wait to see what imaginative ways we will see this craphole planet be destroyed.

Confession: I am a little concerned that my ability to survive a zombie outbreak on an apocalyptic scale will be hampered just a wee bit by a crybaby bot who will totally narc on our hidden location just because he/she needs a diaper change!!! Too young to realize that silence is our best defense (sigh). Aye aye aye, being a mom is hard already.

Life moves pretty fast

2009-11-06T14:27:00.003-05:00

So it’s not like I am trying to hurry this pregnancy along (Although I would step into a time machine to Nov 12th, for sure!). I’ve longed for this baby, and in all honestly, all my adult life I wondered what it would be like to be pregnant. Like how will it be to work and do everyday things while pregnant? How will it be to incubate a child from start to finish? It’s really weird when you think about it.

The first couple of weeks after we found out, I thought that everything would change. It seemed it was always on my mind. It also seemed like ordinary things such as going to meetings or cleaning the kitchen had an extra something to it. Of course when the morning sickness hit, THAT was all I could think about.

But now I’m at a weird time in the pregnancy. I’m not really showing -- strangers would think I had too many beers before thinking me pregnant. I can’t feel the baby move-- I thought I did over a week ago, but nada since. I also don’t have many symptoms -- I kinda feel like myself except I can’t stay up past midnight.

At the same time, I know I will only be pregnant for such a short amount of time compared to my lifespan, so I want to really really revel in it. I feel like I am taking it for granted a bit when I go about my day not reflecting or gushing on the inside about it. Well you know, be more like Ferris Bueller.

So I thought I’d share my thoughts and activities of the pregnancy the past couple of weeks:
I do a lot of sitting still trying to feel the baby move.
I’m obsessed about the day of the gender ultrasound.
I worry that I am wearing the same boring maternity clothes over and over. I thought I’d be more stylish!
The only thing interesting coming up besides the gender is the birth, so I read and read on the topic (and blog about that topic) a LOT!
I spend a lot of time stopping at the mirror to see if I’ve gotten bigger.
I still see my own baby bump as just a big gut. Like it just seems like extra fat to me.
I also check on other non belly areas to see if they’ve gotten bigger!
I check my face for this “mask of pregnancy” thing I’m going to get.
I bitch and moan about my sciatic nerve pain. Right in the left side of my butt! It makes my job difficult at times.
I worry about getting good nutrition in everyday, and I get mad at the occasional day where my only vegetable was a french fry.
Did I take all three doses of my iron supplements today?
I miss sleeping on my back. It is the only way I can fall asleep quickly it seems.
I get paranoid I’m not drinking enough water because I wake up in the middle of the night really thirsty.

That’s all I've got so far!

BYOB (bring your own birthing ball)

2009-11-03T11:29:00.005-05:00

We had our hospital tour last night. Can I just say that I used to think I had a baby bump until last night? The four other couples were ready to pop, and I felt like the young kid at the adult table just swinging my feet.

It was very surreal. As we drove to the hospital I pretended I was having contractions. Josh noted that I would not be driving in that scenario. I said I might if he was feeling faint! It is about 15 minutes to St Ann’s Hospital. I made some faux puffing breaths, and we discussed how to get a police escort.

The tour started out with some information given by a nurse in a classroom, and then we looked at the rooms on the labor and delivery floor, the post partum floor and finally the nursery.

I came prepared with over 20 questions, and my paper and pen. I noticed the other couples hands were empty. The only questions they had were about H1N1. I was like, seriously?? 15 minutes of our one hour tour talking about the flu? Oh I forgot, there was one other question a couple had about how big the sleeping couch was for Dads. I was really confused. Didn’t they want to know if continuous monitoring was standard? Or the patient to staff ratio? Or the hospital’s c-section rate? I guess they really just wanted to see the accommodations and that was it.

I asked five of my 20 questions before realizing I was the only one in the room who cared. So, I asked the nurse giving the tour if I could come up after the tour to ask the rest. Apparently she has gone rogue on her hospital, because after everyone left she pulled up a chair and gave us the dirty details. She was really excited to talk to us because she is a huge advocate of natural/unmediated birth and immediate bonding with the baby. But, honestly I felt that if her boss was listening she would be reprimanded at best.

She said that the rate of augmentation of labor has gotten out of control. Everyone is being induced or given pitocin. She said that unless I have a written note from my midwife, I will automatically be hooked up to an IV in triage (upon arrival). She emphasized that when I come in to let them know I want a nurse who is willing to work with my birth plan because a lot of nurses on staff don’t want to work with a woman without an epidural. She told josh he would be my advocate in changing nurses if it came to this.

She said if I wanted a completely intervention free birth in this hospital and was going with an OB, it would be difficult. She was really excited that we had a midwife because nearly every doctor just defaults to the hospital’s standard procedures. She’s worked with my midwife and knows that she can (and will) overrule standard hospital practices such as continuous monitoring, having an IV, labor augmentation, eating and drinking in labor, letting the umbilical cord finish pulsing before it is cut, and even giving birth in the labor tub. That set my mind at ease, otherwise, I’d be pushing that baby out in my living room.

We talked for an hour and she gave me her home number if I had any other questions. We will probably do the tour again in our third trimester. We will probably have other questions and it was exciting activity for us!

Let's put those Old Wives Tales to test!

2009-11-02T09:42:00.003-05:00

Although I know the majority of you have voted on baby bot’s gender. I wanted to add some Old Wives Tales on predicting gender. Just for fun! Many of these things were mentioned (I think) at one point or another in the blog. So perhaps you were paying attention, or perhaps you are tossing a coin, or perhaps you were picking the gender you want me to have! There will be a lot of scratched heads if bot has nuts and bolts. Either way I’ve got symptoms in each category. Still the BOY symptoms are much more apparent to me.

(All applicable things to me in BOLD)

It's a boy if:
· You didn't experience morning sickness in early pregnancy
· Your baby's heart rate is less than 140 beats per minute
· You are carrying the extra weight out front
· Your belly looks like a basketball
· Your areolas have darkened considerably (ooooh TMI here)
· You are carrying low
· You are craving salty or sour foods
· You are craving protein -- meats and cheese
· Your feet are colder than they were before pregnancy
· The hair on your legs has grown faster during pregnancy (2nd TMI here)
· Your hands are very dry
· Your pillow faces north when you sleep
· Dad-to-be is gaining weight, right along with you
· Pregnancy has you looking better than ever
· Your urine is bright yellow in color
· Your nose is spreading
· You hang your wedding ring over your belly and it moves in circles
· You are having headaches
· You add your age at the time of conception and the number for the month you conceived and the sum is an even number

It's a girl if:
· You had morning sickness early in pregnancy
· Your baby's heart rate is at least 140 beats per minute
· You are carrying the weight in your hips and rear
· Your left breast is larger than your right breast
· Your hair develops red highlights
· You are carrying high ( I had a co-worker tell me this)
· Your belly looks like a watermelon
· You are craving sweets
· You are craving fruit
· You crave orange juice
· You don't look quite as good as normal during pregnancy (sad but true)
· You are moodier than usual during pregnancy (duh!)
· Your face breaks out more than usual (please, no flash photography)
· You refuse to eat the heel of a loaf of bread
· Your breasts have really blossomed! (bow chicka wow wow)
· Your pillow faces south when you sleep
· Your urine is a dull yellow color
· You hang your wedding ring over your belly and it moves from side to side
- You add your age at the time of conception and the number for the month you conceived and the sum is an odd number

Doula Meeting Tomorrow!

2009-10-31T15:47:00.010-04:00

Since my Mom won't be able to be present for the labor, and since Josh makes these weird quick sucking in air sounds just watching someone give birth on tv... we've decided to hire a doula! But all kidding aside, we have some great reasons to go this route.

Some of you might be all, what’s a doula? Why are Josh and Stef such hippies with this whole birth thing? Well....what if I told you that there was a pill you could take during labor that would make you:

26% less likely to give birth by cesarean section
28% less likely to use any analgesia or anesthesia (including epidural)
41% less likely to give birth with forceps or vacuum extractor
33% less likely to be dissatisfied or negatively rate their birth experience

Well that can’t be found in a bottle, friends. Those are the results of studies showing what happens when a woman is supported by a doula in labor. (Findings of Hodnett's et al meta-analysis of 15 trials of continuous labor support from N. America, Europe, and Africa)

We are interviewing a doula tomorrow at panera bread! She was so very sweet on the phone. And she's worked with our midwife too. I feel like between her and josh and Becky (midwife), I will have a whole team of people rooting on baby bot’s entry to the world. Now I will just see tomorrow if I feel comfortable having her be privy to my lady bits and seeing me, you know…labor possibly like a mad woman (it is possible that I might bite). Bonus Points: She’s a Licensed Massage Therapist.

Here is website of MY potential Doula, Jenn: Check it out. http://jennelfnerdoula.homestead.com/

And don’t forget to VOTE on the sex of baby bot. Poll is to your right.

16 weeks

2009-10-25T23:05:00.005-04:00

Mom, Janeen, I know you were skeptical when I told you the baby was the size of a lemon at week 14, so I know you will scoff at the avocado comparison! But it isn't necessarily as big as it, but more like how long it is.

This week: Watch what you say... tiny bones forming in baby's ears mean the little one can now pick up your voice. Eyebrows, lashes and hair are starting to fill in, and taste buds are forming. And, if you're interested, an ultrasound might be able to determine gender.

Here is my 16 week picture in my getting too small green stripy shirt. I also have a bare belly pic on the side bar comparing it to the 4 week belly. Because I like to flash my friends and family. Oh the scandal!

Boy or Girl?

2009-10-25T11:57:00.003-04:00

This is Josh: There’s been a lot of talk lately about whether we’ll have a boy or a girl. I take the classic stance that a healthy baby is the goal and the gender is secondary.

If I can be guaranteed a healthy baby, and am free to speculate about whether I want a boy or a girl, I still think either one would be cool.

If it’s a boy, then I sort of know what I’m getting because I’ve been there. I see boys in malls or at parks and I know what it felt like to just want to run and tumble and flail my limbs wildly. You’re a kid, and there’s energy to release. Especially at the mall, which is so boooorrring.

If it’s a girl, then that throws a little wild card in there. But more studies are showing that girls are smarter than boys and excel more easily through high school and college, so that’s a bonus. It seems like having a girl would be an amazing adventure.

One of the things I most look forward to is coaching little league baseball or softball, which is what my dad did for me and my brother. The biggest challenge here is not whether it’s a boy or girl, but making sure that our Baby Bot doesn’t want to play soccer. - Josh

Aiming High

2009-10-24T14:13:00.003-04:00

This is Josh: I’m happy that we’re going with a midwife. We’ve been watching baby pregnancy shows on Discovery Health over the past few months, and so many of them go the same way. It’s a slippery slope of one seemingly small intervention after another, until you’re dug in too deep and the only way out is a C-section.

Everyone agrees doctors are great for when there’s complications or a high risk birth. Those C-sections and other interventions save lives. But it seems like doctors delivering most babies aim too low. The one and only goal is a safe birth for mom and baby. But for a large amount of women, they can aim higher than that. The doctor’s toolkit is heavily focused on drugs, surgery, and fixing problems. But this presumes that a pregnant woman is sick, which is often not the case.

Women have successfully given birth naturally throughout history. It seems like it can be an empowering and momentous event.

You can say, well, in the Middle Ages women had kids, but like all things, times are better now. Women live longer now than back then, we’re not using leaches to suck demons out of our blood, and overall medicine has gotten so much better.

But data shows that other countries, such as the Netherlands, still use midwives extensively and have very successful outcomes for birth. The data shows that American doctors’ interventions can create new hazards and in many cases, the interventions are unnecessary.

Given the different incentives that exist for doctors today, it’s not surprising that the rate of C-sections is increasing. With a C-section, doctors know that they can have that baby out in a half hour. The high cost of major surgery is not taken into consideration over the low cost of a natural birth, because of our health care system.

If all signs point to a healthy pregnancy, it seems like a natural birth can be a powerful experience. The more we’ve read, watched, and talked about it, it seems like the best way to go down this route is to have a midwife. It seems like the care we get is based more on the philosophy and perspective of the caregiver than anything else, and a midwife puts the odds in our favor that we won’t have unnecessary intervention in our birth. – Josh

How far along?

2009-10-16T14:06:00.003-04:00

How far along? 14W5D

Total weight gain: 3 pounds (lost two in the past couple weeks :()

Maternity clothes? I bought some shirts but I desperately need some pants. The Bella Band can only do so much.
Stretch marks? None.

Sleep: I wake up at least once every night to go to the bathroom. I find that my back is starting to hurt when I wake up on it.

Best moment this week: See my baby bump poking out when I sucked my tummy in. It would NOT suck in!

Movement: None yet!

Food cravings: Prosciutto mozzarella tomato panini, kale with lots of vinegar and hot sauce

Food aversions: Tomato sauce, I hate the smell.

Gender: Still waiting to find out. The ultrasound is set for Nov. 12th

Labor Signs: Oh god no.

Belly Button in or out? In, but now I can look into it from a mirror when it used to face down a bit more

What I miss: Red wine, Motrin 800 and my cute button down tops

What I am looking forward to: Feeling movement!

Weekly Wisdom: As my baby grows so will my body. If I stayed as skinny as I was before I got pregnant, the baby would not survive --- This is from Josh when I came out of Victoria’s Secret. I went from a 36C to a 38 D cup. YOWZA!! Milestones: Making it to the second trimester!

Firing my ob, hiring a midwife.

2009-10-15T13:27:00.003-04:00

So we went to see and interview a midwife today. I want a natural birth experiences with as little interventions as possible. I don’t want IV’s or to be strapped to a bed with monitors and an epidural. I don’t want pitocin to override the natural oxytocin (love hormone!) I can naturally provide. I don’t want to start on a cascade of interventions which increase the chance of a cesarean section. I have total faith in my body and in the history of women who have trusted their bodies to do what comes naturally. I don’t need anyone to deliver my baby, I just need a person to attend the birth.

If you know me, I am not natural in any other way. I love drugs. LOVE them. I miss them. I have chronic back spasms that I have muscle relaxers and the occasional script for vicodin. And if you ask josh, I’m sorta into mother nature, but I won’t go out of my way to recycle. I eat organic when possible, but I have no problem driving thru a McDonalds for a tasty McGriddle. And why walk when you can drive!

But if you think about it, and read the research, you put yourself and your baby at less risk going the route I’m going. Of course the most important thing is a healthy baby at the end, but that is obvious. I would love to have a birth process that is powerful, healthy and spiritual for me, josh and the baby. I have a plan. And all plans can be derailed. But I want to put my best foot forward. It’s the least I can do.

2nd Trimester!

2009-10-13T10:43:00.000-04:00

We made it! I’m 14 weeks! We made it to the 2nd trimester, where there is only a 1 percent chance of losing baby bot. Not to say that there isn’t a chance that something can go wrong with the baby. But there is only a tiny chance that my cervix will open and my womb will spontaneously expel the bot.

I still get nauseous occasionally during the day. It doesn’t linger for hours like it used to. And I find when I lay on my left side it is easier to manage. It is a walk in the freakin’ park compared to the earlier weeks.

I’m feeling good! More like myself. Like before I had felt all these symptoms, and I felt like my body wasn’t my own. I miss my sleeping pills a little now. Especially now that my chronic insomnia is coming back a bit. I always have heartburn with a headache. A headache can come on its own, but the heartburn needs its headache buddy. But I will take all this crap over sickness any damn day of the week. I almost feel like I have PTSD from the first trimester.

Hmm, but besides symptoms. I am still getting used to the idea of being pregnant. I mean I am so used to seeing a cute baby in the library and having that longing feeling. And now I have to say, oh wait! I’m making one of those cute things right now!

I can’t see a car seat in my car come April. I have no lollipop visions of a nursery. I haven’t bought one baby thing. Not a sock, not a onesie, not a thing! Before it was because I was being cautious. But now I think it is just me being neurotic. I’m sure once I step a foot into Babies R Us it will be like that scene at the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark. My face will melt off and light beams will shoot out of my butt.

You know the first couple of weeks I was pregnant, I wanted to tell everyone. And then for a week before we told everyone, I was in a panic. Just freaked out. I didn’t want anyone to know. I wanted to move to a convent and have my baby in secret. Maybe this has something to do with the way mammals like to just crawl under the porch and give birth. I don’t know. Anyhow, I think buying baby stuff is just another crazy thing that I can’t subscribe to yet.

I hope I don’t have a baby as crazy as me. Cause I am sure it will be some different kind of crazy that I will make me wring my hands, and tsk my tongue.

When I heard

2009-09-27T17:49:00.002-04:00

This is Josh: I’ve been thinking about the time I heard I’d be a dad. I got home before Stef because it was a day when she worked until 9 pm. I came in just a few minutes earlier after working late. I was in the kitchen getting some food together when she came in and I gave her a hug. We talked about our days for a few minutes and then headed to the bedroom to change out of our work clothes.

Once I was in the bedroom, Charlie came in with something around his neck. Stef often puts things on our animals (socks, hats, t-shirts, cell phones, pretty much anything to liven up those animals’ lives for a second) so that was no shock. But then I looked down and saw it say “I Love Daddy”. And then I saw it was a baby’s bib. And then I looked up, Stef was holding a pregnancy test in her hand, and she said “I’m pregnant!”

I was so happy. It turns out getting pregnant isn’t as easy as those junior high health classes would have you think. So I had had some time to think about how I wanted to have a kid, and to hear Stef say it was just magical. I think I expressed my happiness with a combination of “oh my god” and “are you serious?” as I sat down on the bed. I probably should’ve quoted Shakespeare or something to catch the life-affirming moment, but that’s not my style.

Afterwards, Stef admitted that she almost had the bib on Charlie when we were in the kitchen, but I turned around too quick and she had to cheese it. It’s really cool how she told me the news. It was really creative. And she incorporated Charlie into the action. I’m thinking Charlie better enjoy his attention now, because once that baby comes he’s going to get demoted to the backburner with those cats. - Josh

Heartbeat and feelin' better!

2009-09-25T12:27:00.004-04:00

Hi Everyone I’m not sure who is still reading this because I have been a horrible blogger. I am starting to feel better, and it is FAN-freakin’-tastic. I haven’t thrown up in a week. I am queasy before meals and at night. But nothing I can’t handle. In fact, right now, I am hungry! Which is weird.

Well besides the ins and outs of stef’s stomach, I’m happy to report that we confirmed a heartbeat (again!) at the doctor’s on Wednesday. She said that I am actually three days ahead of what I think I am. While she moved the fetal heart doppler across my belly, I asked what the baby was doing right now, and she said “He’s just hanging out”. That mental image just cracked me up. The nurse kept losing the heartbeat because I couldn’t stop giggling. The heartbeat was 140 bpm, and the nurse told me that I was having a boy because anything 140 or lower according to the old wive’s tale is a boy! Now I am can’t get that out of my head. It’s funny because when I saw the ultrasound at 8 weeks, it just screamed boy to me. Mother’s intuition maybe? :) The other day I could feel the top of my uterus pushing out past my pelvic bone. It is all becoming real. I am going to let myself stop worrying and just enjoy. Finally!

We’ve come a long way from a poppy seed! Hello baby plum.

9 weeks belly pic

2009-09-11T14:13:00.004-04:00

Here I am at 9 weeks. It is all bloat and bowel. The uterus pushes everything up and out. So that is no baby poking me out! More like my dinner that night. Still, it is funny to have such a round tummy.
Scroll down to the right for our baseline pictures of 4 weeks.

Vacation pictures

2009-09-11T13:39:00.011-04:00

Our tandem bike ride in Vancouver's Stanley Park!

I have to put in a picture of the lunch I had that was so delicious! It was like a miracle that my nausea let me enjoy this. I felt like it was the best meal of my life!

Some big bridge in Vancouver. What was the name of it? La chupacabra or something?

Me and Josh on our bike tour of Portland.

The fab view from the Seattle Space Needle. We stayed for like 10 minutes, and were like, okay, let's get the hell out of here!

I had to lay on the street to take this picture. Josh and the Seattle Space Needle

Josh at the very first Starbucks in Seattle's Public Market (where they throw that fish around)

Our vacation to the pacific northwest

2009-09-07T01:30:00.001-04:00

Well, we booked the flights before I found out I was pregnant. We took a gamble on priceline to save 50-75 percent on our hotels before I found out that I would get morning sickness (from which point I will just call it the pukes). A little less than 2 weeks before the big trip I started to get the icks which later turned into the pukes. What a horrible time for a vacay right? Wrong! I found being at work was just plain awful. I couldn’t lay down when I wanted to, I couldn’t puke where I wanted too. And reading on the computer is a huge trigger for me (I’ll pay for this entry, I’m sure). I found that going at my own pace made things a bit easier. And good god was I ready for a vacation!

The bad: I was sick on the vacation. But I would say only 2 to 3 hours of the day were pretty bad. I didn’t have as much energy but that just meant I had to walk slow. It felt sometimes that I was made of lead (also some meat). I also had a touch of the rage at times. By rage I mean pregnancy hormones, but you know, toMAYtoe, toMAHtoe. I love you josh!!

The good: I had a great time! It turns out that the whole exercise thing is no bullshit. I would get really nauseous right before lunch. Josh would say maybe we should sit down, but I said, no, lets walk (abet slowly). And after an hour walk, exploring the city, I feel better and I enjoyed pretty much every lunch and all afternoon excursions. That means we had a blast riding our tandem bike in Vancouver (details to come! Well, maybe). Mornings we started late so I could peel my stomach off the bed, and the evenings we took it easy too. A great balance of activities and relaxation.

The awesome: Halfway through the vacation, I was feeling a lot better. I didn’t throw up, and I only felt queasy at times. And get this: I enjoyed all three of my meals on Thursday!!

The paranoid: Well there is nothing worse than having puke time in toiletville, but there is no way to feel sick and simultaneously worry about the baby. All your brain can think is “I don’t want to throw up, please no, not again, NO!” And that pretty much blocks it all out. Well with my boobs feeling less sore and not feeling very nauseaus today, I was really scared that I wasn’t pregnant anymore. But silly me because just when you think its over.. BAM! At 9pm tonight we begin again. I can’t say that all I did was to shout: “Jeebus take the wheel!” while withering on the sofa, because a tiny part of my brain (the sadistic part) was whispering, “yay”. Because nothing says happy baby like a sad tummy. 9 weeks today, and hopefully in a couple of weeks I will feel better with no paranoia either.

So tomorrow I will walk for an hour and see if the exercise was really the key!
More on the vacation laters! And pictures too

28 and Pregnant

2009-08-22T20:46:00.004-04:00

This is Josh: I’ve learned something from MTV. Time and again, I recently watched as 16 year olds were getting pregnant and their lives were falling apart. The guy wants to go out with friends, the girl has to drop out of high school. There were some bright points in there, and certainly it can work for those who find themselves or their partners young and pregnant. But the general feeling that I get is relief that I was never even close to being in that situation.

The next feeling that I get is the urge to grow up. Sure, I’ve always wanted kids. But isn’t it a lot of work? And responsibility? I have the same feelings that you see in countless movies, where a guy has to suddenly grow up and be responsible because he has no other choice.

But then I think, jeez, I don’t even have to grow up, because I already did. Somewhere between spring break in Cancun and parties til dawn… and bedtime at 11:30 and listening to NPR on the way to work – I grew up. So it’s not even a problem anymore. Before I watched “16 and Pregnant”, I always thought about Seinfeld, and Sex and the City (only saw two shows of that, but I caught onto the premise), and how I’m “only 28”. But watching 16 year olds on TV, my overriding thought is “Man, I’m 12 years older than these kids”.

So, let’s dive into the unknown. Let’s try a new high, one with bright eyes and soft cheeks and googoogaagaas. I’ve seen friends have kids and it looks like fun. Witnessing a little speck grow into a baby and then a little human, I can’t imagine the wondrous feelings that come with that. And I can always take comfort in the fact that there’s still well over a decade before that beautiful baby turns into a nasty teenager. - Josh

BARF!!!!

2009-08-20T14:23:00.002-04:00

Well it turns out that the night before last someone replaced the baby with 10 shots of vodka, because it was that morning of freshman year all over again. I literally struggle not to vomit all over the keyboard as I type.

Common misconceptions about morning sickness.
It is all day long people. I only felt slightly queasy between 12-2pm and 5-6pm yesterday. The rest of the day was pure hell. And you would know to the minute too when some relief comes your way.
It comes out both ends. I literally had to flip a coin yesterday of which end was going to get the toilet first.
It makes you regress. I want to get on the floor, pound my fists and kick my legs and scream because I am so frustrated with this feeling. It is enough to feel like this for a couple days, but all I see are the horrible weeks ahead spread out before me.
I don’t want to eat anything healthy. The only thing I can stomach is salty french fries. Saltines taste like ashtrays and the idea of vegetables... oh god!
Writing about morning sickness makes it worse. My sister told me I have to keep my mind off of it… oooooookay?!
You always speak too soon. I told josh today that I was feeling better today, but at 12:00pm everything came crashing down.
You still have to go to work and make zee monies. It is barbaric I say!
You don’t always get the luxury of puking at home. I just feel like I am in some nightmare box when I have to go into the stalls at work.

Sweet Pea

2009-08-17T14:28:00.003-04:00

Growing like crazy, baby is starting to sprout eyes, ears, nose, cheeks and chin. Those little hands and feet- still webbed like paddles- might wiggle by week's end, the heart is beating (almost twice as fast as yours!), and blood is starting to circulate.

tiny tiny little rhythm

2009-08-11T20:37:00.001-04:00

According to the book your pregnancy day by day (yes I also have a week by week, but I need super specifics people!) baby bot's heart started beating sometime today. I feel like it is valentine's day!

I hope little bot likes it in there. I bet it was an exciting day having a little thumping rhythm to keep him or her company in the warm darkness.

Just like yesteday, I came home from work exhausted. I wonder if bot knows that his mommy works hard for the money?

5 weeks

2009-08-11T16:38:00.001-04:00

Your embryo (looking kind of like a tadpole) is starting to form major organs (heart, kidney, liver, stomach) and systems (nervous, circulatory, digestive). Baby's presence in your uterus triggers production of hCG (the hormone detected by pregnancy tests)... which triggers production of other hormones like estrogen and progesterone... which trigger all those great symptoms you've probably been noticing!

I am four weeks pregnant - poppyseed

2009-08-02T20:32:00.001-04:00

I can't wait for our little bot to get bigger than basically a speck! Besides a positive pregnancy test and some sore boobs I don't feel like much has changed.

This is a test

2009-08-02T17:35:00.000-04:00

We found out we were pregnant on July 31th 2009.

We have a doctor's appointment on August 28th to see the heartbeat!