Awesome

This is Josh: Stefanie, you are awesome. I could not imagine having a roller coaster going on for 9 months. Thank you for carrying our baby and being there with him at all times. I know your voice and your rubs comfort him when he's wondering why he's still in his oceanic environment. He'll be with us on land soon! - Josh

Hypnobirthing - part 2

So, 3-4 weeks in, what’s it like so far? First of all it is a freakin’ struggle to stay awake for the 30 minute hypnosis sessions (there are 12). You take some calming deep breaths, you relax your muscles and just when you think you are completely relaxed… “you go deeper…much deeper”(the lady’s soothing words, not mine).

Then the lady tells me that I am so relaxed I can’t move my arm (true!) and then she tells me that my skin feels so good (yup). Then she tells me to come up with a special safe place (For me: I am lying on a hammock on the beach in a orange bikini and I am smokin’ hot too!--- hey it’s my special place, my rules!). In my special place I hold my baby cause we are in this together (check!). Next thing you know she is telling me that she is going to count to five and each number will take me 10 times deeper into relaxation and hypnosis. You feel like you are drifting, floating and your mind is completely empty. And each time she says a number it intensifies like a wave going through you. And I am literally on the beach so RELAXED! And right before she gets to some instructions….I’m out like a light.

Last night I finally got through the “Creating Self-Anesthesia” track. I did really well with the finger drop technique (a cue where you raise your finger and lower it and are instantly relaxed and in your special place) and turning my light switch (that controls my muscles) completely off. Now I am working on centering my light swtich so that I can move/talk/interact while the area between my chest and my thighs (birthing muscles) is still completely relaxed. It is a warm buzzing feeling. Like I can’t describe it.

I had a major setback a few days ago. I woke up screaming due to a calf muscle spasm. Usually it works itself out, but this one was a mutant spasm because as soon as it ended it would spasm harder again and again. I thought for a second “ Oooh I should use hypnobabies!” But all I could think was that word “hypnobabies” and couldn’t think any further. I was completely focused only on the pain that kept coming and coming. So I thrashed in bed, yelled, and had josh rub my leg. After it was over, I thought holy hell I can’t even manage a calf muscle spasm. Granted it was the mother of calf spasms that turned into four in a row. But actually josh said I did a good job. And I asked him embarrassedly “But what about how I thrashed and yelled?… I mean that wasn’t really me in a hammock/ on the beach/orange bikini moment.” He said that’s okay and he’s going to be there with me like he was that morning too. (swoons) And it is true that my labor isn’t going to go from 0 to 60 and wake me up discombobulated in the middle of the night. Anyway, to be fair, I am only practicing anesthesia in my torso not my left leg.

Still.

We will see how this goes.

Hypnobirthing

I’ve been getting harassed by josh to post another entry. So let’s talk hypnosis. It is really hilarious to me that so many things I am doing in preparation for this birth is just so off the wall. And I know it too. And I already know you know it. But stay with me here.

I decided to go with hypnobirthing as my pain management technique. Lamaze and the Bradley method are so yesterday.com! Even though hypnobirthing isn’t new, it has recently been updated so you can be hypnotized with your eyes open and talk and move. They call it “eyes open” hypnosis. Pretty fancy hey?

When you think hypnosis, you think parlor tricks. But really it is more a form of meditation and the power of the mind. It’s very peaceful and actually pretty awesome.

I decided to go with the Hypnobabies brand. A 5 week home study course, with 8 CDs (purchased from ebay!). And it accomplishes and addresses three major areas:
1. Childbirth is natural and normal, and people who have a positive expectations of childbirth can deliver without pain and fear. The first step is internalizing this through positive affirmations. For example: “labor” is now referred to my birthing time! That “contraction” is just a pressure wave!

2. Freedom from fear can make a significant difference. Fear in labor can create tension, which creates pain, then more fear, and the cycle continues. I will use self-hypnosis to clear that fear.

3. People have been using self-hypnosis as a method of natural anesthesia for years. It has even been an effective anesthesia in surgeries.

And you can read more about it here: http://www.hypnobabies.com/mylink.php?id=4570

Being a Kid

This is Josh: As snow falls in Columbus, and much more falls elsewhere, I’m delighted that schools are closed. A snow day for a kid is just about the best thing in the world. It’s not like Christmas, where you look forward to it forever. A snow day is somewhat random, and just unleashes freedom like no other event. Not to mention the snow – snowmen, snowball fights, sledding – these are things that are only possible when the weather randomly makes them possible. And it’s that much greater when you can play in the snow all day on a Tuesday rather than on a Saturday.

It got me thinking about what it’ll be like for our son growing up. Stef and I grew up in the eighties, and we experienced being teenagers in the nineties. I remember a typewriter in the house. Sometime in high school we got the internet. It required that you get a magazine because it literally took ten minutes to load every page. It was revolutionary when I got to college and websites popped up right as you clicked.

All of this is the same as saying “Back in my day, blah blah blah”. I can’t recall this to my kid without sounding old and boring.

These days, kids grow up with keyboards and texting and the internet and it’s changed the way they interact with the world. I imagine it must also change their perspectives on life. This isn’t to say it’s a bad thing. In fact, I think the world is constantly improving, progress is being made, and these technological changes make life better.

From a parenting standpoint, though, I think it might create new challenges. I imagine we have to be a little more proactive about what our 9-year-old is doing for an hour on the internet than we’d have to be if he was watching TV for an hour. So maybe parenting is harder today than it was back in the day? (That question totally acknowledges that I have no idea what it’s like to be a parent, today or back in the day).

On the other hand, it seems that snow days now are the same as snow days in the eighties. So maybe some things don’t change too much. - Josh

Why I Write

This is Josh: Often I write something about my experience as a soon-to-be-dad, and I soon realize that my thoughts are generic. I do not provide great insight into the human condition, or enlighten the world with ideas unlike any other.

I do not think this is a problem.

Over the weekend Stefanie and I discovered some old photos of us from college. The photos are now several years old, and they create a special feeling when viewed years later. At the time they were just photos, the kind you push yourself to take because you know it’s worth it, even though it’s always sort of a hassle to take the photo right then. Only after sitting dormant for some time do they begin to take on an exceptional quality. And these aren’t the graduation-type photos, where everyone’s posing. The best ones are the ones where someone just grabs the camera in the middle of a party, or while someone’s reading a book, and captures the random moment.

In the same way, I hope the writings here will prove to be interesting over time. Ten or thirty years from now, I can imagine getting great joy from the thoughts in this blog. They would be interesting to an alien who came down and wanted to read what an average American in 2010 has to say about having a child. It seems like there’s value in recording them, and I look forward to revisiting these posts when my child is in high school, and beyond. - Josh

31 weeks belly shots

Okay so I haven't done this in a while. I think compared to the 26 week one he might have gotten a little lower.
I'm smiling, but I'm really very tired and my neck hurts from a long day at work. I took about 15 pictures and this is the one where my face looks the least fat.

I'm giving the bare belly because Mom requested it. Other decent folks can shield their eyes! You can't see it, but my innie is very close to being an outie!

Another look at the goods

So we went in for our 3D/4D ultrasound on Saturday. We aren’t the type with a lot of disposable income, so I’d never consider this little luxury except for that damn 25 percent chance that bot was a girl according to the random doctor who did our anatomy scan. Also I would like to say this is partly our insurance's fault for only covering two ultrasounds in the first place.

Anyway, it was really weird getting on an examining table without someone first taking my weight and blood pressure… but it was actually a very nice environment. They even had a huge movie screen in which the ultrasound was projected. We got a 20 minute DVD of all his little motions and 20 pictures.

Bot was halfway cooperative, he showed us the nuts and bolts. And what a boy indeed! (that one was for you Lindsey :0)) Having said that he was in a breech position with the cord covering up his mouth, and finally getting that sorta out of the way he put his foot over half of his face. It’s not like he doesn’t look like a 3D claymation mud baby regardless of these obstructions… The best part was nice seeing him in motion. He kicked and swallowed stretched his neck.

The biggest relief was that yes, he did have face, all four limbs and apparently at least four toes from what I could see. Josh would like to point out that bot indeed has a set of genitals. He also likes to smoosh his face up against my placenta, which apparently is the womb’s pillow, in order to provide lame pictures.

Here is the "best" one!
His foot is on his left eye, but you have a good profile shot of his little eye, nose and lips.